Frankly my dear tour guide, I don't give A(swan) Dam...

Early this morning we left our moorings outside of Kom Ombo and sailed down the Nile to Aswan. It was only a 3 hour trip, but there was a few things to fit in here....firstly we caught a boat over to Philae Temple. This was a temple that until recently (please note "recently" in Egyptian terms is within the last 50 years!!) subject to flooding from the rising seasonal Nile waters. Therefore during the rainy season the temple would be half submerged underwater.

The approach to the Island of Philae

The tour guides specialises in talking about this temple

I suppose you could call him a Philae minion ;)

With the building of the Aswan Dam the raised water levels would have lost this temple to the lake, all in the name of progress (the Dam is a massive hydroelectrical generator providing a massive amount of electricity to Cairo, Luxor and other cities along the Nile). Therefore, instead of losing it to the lake, it was decided to move it, brick-by-brick, to another island that would not be submerged. So the temple looks like it has done for all antiquity, but is now 100 metres or so away from the original site. This was a nice temple, reminiscent of Edfu, only on a smaller scale.

The Romans also added to Philae with this, honouring the Egyptian gods
and keeping the Nubians happy - typical smooth Mediterranean charmers!!

Once we returned from the island, we moved on to the Aswan Dam itself. Now, I don’t mind engineering feats and all that, but a dam is a dam, and it was not anywhere near as impressive as the Hoover Dam (which is my yardstick for such things), so I took a couple of token snaps, but my heart was not really in it.

On the Aswan Dam, with Russio-Egyptian lotus flower monument in the background

I did get to see Lake Nasser though, and Lake Nasser is the most northerly point where you can see Crocodiles in the Nile - they are all refused entry north of the dam by the stringent military checkpoints. However, sadly I did not see any - I guess that people and crocodiles do not mix...

This is Lake Nasser, on the other side of the Dam. No Crocs though.

Following on from the dam, the tour guide seemed to redirect us to some strange Nubian shop which specialised in aromatherapy oils. He gave some spiel about the Nubians are very honest and trustworthy people and this is interesting, so the whole tour group piled in. 30 minutes later we were bored to tears with rubbing exotic plant oils on various appendages and just wanted to leave. No one bought anything, which made me wonder why on earth we bothered going to that. It was similar to the alabaster village experience, obviously the guide gets a cut of the sales bought by the customers he brought in, but it annoyed me a bit as we were wasting temple
hopping time for wiping this crap on our wrists.

True enough, one of our trips was to the unfinished obelisk, a massive 1200 tonne piece of stone that was 3/4 carved when the stone masons discovered some cracks in the granite, and abandoned it. It was going to be 40 metres in length, and very impressive, but all I got to see of it was from the bus as we drove past it to get to the boat! What a rip off! The guide probably did himself no favours sending us to the aromatherapy place, as he got no commission, and has now lost his bumper baksheesh payday from me (I was going to give him E£50, but after this, all he got was E£20).

Back at the boat I got freshened up and went to my room to relax for an hour or so. It is worth pointing out that while in Cambodia, I was on three or four showers a day, here I am getting by with only two. The heat is more intense here, but it is a dry heat, so you sweat, but you are not saturated every 30 minutes.

After a bit of rest and lunch back on the boat, our afternoon excursion was to take a Felucca out on the Nile and around Kitchener’s island (named after Lord “your country needs you” Kitchener) and Elephantine Island (named because of the large ivory trade that used to go on at the island – sort of like the Cambridge corn exchange, only with tusks!)

What is a felucca you may ask? Well it is a tradition one-sail fishing boat, the Mahmud delighted in telling us had been sailing the Nile for thousands of years. The Nubians run the ships, but obviously with the building of the dam, the fishing opportunities are limited, and so they have switched over to the tourist industry.

A felucca heading straight for us!! In the background is Kitchener's
Island, a sort of botanical garden set up in our empire days....

I have to say the whole sailing experience was good fun and relaxing, and halfway through the Nubian sailors burst into a tradition song, which had strains of “frère Jacques”, “She’ll be coming round the mountain” and “Macarena” all cunningly woven in to the fabric.

Another way to help tourists part with their cash...sing a bit and then
park in the middle of the lake until sufficient sales have been made.....

It was good fun though, until I discovered there was a new way to make us part with our money. The music stopped and then they started setting up a stall in the middle of the boat with all manner of hand crafted objects on. We were a captive audience and could not escape by walking off, as they just kept on circling in the middle of the lake so we handed over cash like nobody’s business. That said, I did get a couple of nice souvenirs!

One of the strangest sights I saw today was a young lad on what can only be describes as a bit of Styrofoam and a couple of hand held panels bombing it over to our boat to get some baksheesh for saying the alphabet . He left disappointed though, as no one has any change smaller than E£50, and cute and doe-eyed as he might have been, he was not worth that sort of money.....

If Egypt trained this kid to row, i am sure he would win
Olympic gold, such was his speed at crossing the Nile!

Tomorrow is a day at leisure, where we can do what we want in Aswan. I am not entirely sure what I want to do here – I could pop to Elephantine Island and see the Nubian villages, and then skip over to Kitchener’s Island, which has a botanical gardens on it. Decisions, Decisions.....

Edfu and Kom Ombo

After a good night's sleep following on from the whirlwind tour of the valley of the kings et al. yesterday, today's temple hopping was and altogether more sedate affair.

For the first time on the cruise I managed to sit down in the dining room and eat a meal with the rest of the tourists. It has turned out that I had unwittingly become (in)famous because, with the ship being full, there was only one seat not filled, and people were wondering who was missing. Then this strange chap (me) wanders on to the boat says "hi" to everyone and goes on a tour with the party (all of the parties are divvied up based on the predominant language they can speak). Then, during the tour, I almost got left behind, and the tour guide had to make the whole party wait in the blistering Valley of the Kings sun while he ran up to try and find me.

I maintain that I was only in the Tutankhamun tomb, although I might have spent longer in there than was scheduled, and I did sneakily walk up to some of the other tombs to see if the party has gone there (I knew in my heart of hearts that they had gone down to the exit, but I had to make sure...).

Anyway, after touring with the party, they were expecting to see me for lunch and dinner but I crashed out and slept instead, so people were trying to figure out if I was some antisocial misanthrope, or if I was stuck to the toilet with a severe case of Nile belly. So, to finally see me after a couple of days, I was surprised they all remembered me. I have been the butt of a few jokes about "making it back to the meeting point" and “don’t get lost” etc, but it is all good natured, and it helps me not getting lost again!! I have spoken to most of the group on my dinner table; 6 are a family party from Manchester, and 2 are a Mum and daughter (i think!) from Wales. They all seem like nice enough folk, which is always good, as we have to spend a few days together.

Today's first temple was the magnificent temple at Edfu. In order to get there they decided we should travel in a nice environmentally friendly way, horse and carriage. However, one look at these mangy nags and you can't help feel sorry for them. The horse I had was actually one of the more looked after ones, and the driver (called Shugar) did not use a whip. Another group though told of a horse that was struggling to run because one of its legs was bleeding, and instead of resting the horse, the man just whipped it harder. All this in the searing heat of the day. Poor things.

You can't see the horse's ribs, which can't be said of the rest...

Anyway Shugar was really helpful at pointing things out....school there, market there....baksheesh please.....hospital there. It was an interesting journey, but the town of Edfu is much like any other town, apart from the fact it has the bloody great big temple in the middle of it. Apparently, the whole temple is very well preserved because at some point in the past, it was completely buried in the sand, and the local town unwittingly built their town on top of it. This is an impressive factoid because the temple must be over 100 feet high.

Me employing clever camera angles at Edfu Temple, there were hundreds of people there really!

After popping to see Edfu, we were due to return to the boat but our horse and carriage was, in true taxi-style, out on another job so, instead of waiting in the blistering sun, one of his colleagues kindly offered us shelter on his carriage until he returned (for some baksheesh of course!). As we were waiting this man was proudly showing us a photograph of him with Omar Sharif (the cynic in me expected him to charge us some baksheesh for looking). Still, he was useful in exchanging some large notes into smaller notes (I had to pay some baksheesh for this). So just to be clear, I had to pay baksheesh for getting the money to pay this man baksheesh - I wonder if it was Egyptians behind the current banking crisis....

Eventually our driver returned, and I was given the honour of sitting on the front with him (yes, you guessed it, for some baksheesh). This was actually quite exhilarating though, but clearly concepts like the "health and safety executive" do not exist here as I was bouncing around almost falling off at every pothole we hit! Still it was a laugh, and he pulled over and snapped a photo of me holding the reins (baksheesh), before delivering us to our boat.

Me failing to keep a tight rein on my spending....

The afternoon was at leisure, and I sat by the window in my room watching the beautiful Nile drift by. I really can't properly describe to you how relaxing it is. I am on the side which the sun rises on for this part of the trip so it is lovely watching the sun rise in the mornings.

In the evening, we arrived at the temple of Kom Ombo, which was spectacularly lit up so we could see it as it approached. My camera is not the best in night scenarios, and so I am not sure the pics will do it justice.

Kom Ombo by night

The one thing I have been impressed with on the trip so far, is the standard of the tour guides. It is nice to see Egyptians being passionate about their heritage, and Mahmud our current guide is incredibly animated when explaining the stories of the temples, with arms flapping about wildly with every sentence.

Kom Ombo is quite interesting because the temple is actually dedicated to two gods, not just one. There are also a couple of mummified crocodiles here too, which i just had to get a picture of.

Mummified Croc grins for the camera. Say cheese......

The Egyptians link the crocodile to Nile floods (and therefore fertility) because the crocodiles would wait at the dam knowing the floods were coming, so when the Egyptians saw a crocodile, they knew the floods were coming.

As i write this, we are just arriving in Aswan, so another days adventures are just around the corner.....I will add pictures later.

Life of Luxor-y

At last! After days of treading water, things finally took shape yesterday, and I made it onto the flight bound for Luxor this morning. What this meant is that I had to be up at about 2:30am to make sure I got to the airport on time.

For the first time I felt that things were going my way; I had checked in successfully, been through the metal detectors and was on the bus getting ready to be taken to the plane, when suddenly a French chap walked up to me and said my name. Oh no! There is some problem which meant I had to get off the plane I thought. No, instead he handed me my wallet, which I had left on the counter when walking through the metal detector!! You could tell he thought I was some silly "rosbeef", as he patronisingly said I need to be careful here!!

Still, I took this as a sign of my fortunes turning, and it seemed to follow on as, when I landed at Luxor airport, my bag was the first to come out of the baggage reclaim!! So, I was almost back on schedule. I met with the rep who was waiting for me airport and drove me to the boat, where I signed in and dumped my bags, before running straight out onto a tour of the Valley of the Kings, the Valley of the Queens, the Colossi of Memnon, and the Temple of Hatshepsut.

My home for the next 6 nights....i never thought i would see this....

OK, a weather update. The heat here is unlike anything I have ever felt before in my life. I thought that Cambodia was hot, but even that would seem cool compared to this. I am fairly sure that I would find walking on the surface of the sun cooler than touring these valleys. Even at 7am the heat was in the high 30s, and while it may be true that sitting in the shade means that you get some respite, there is very little shade here at all! Rest assured I am drinking more than enough water, I estimate I have drunk about 5 litres just touring.

The tour group i am with seems to be OK, a fairly friendly bunch, who are broken into two groups; those from Australia and those from England.

We arrived at the Valley of the Kings first, and as is expected at a tourist Mecca like this, the visitors have to run the gauntlet of a horde of locals trying to sell them everything from maps of the area, to authentic toenail scrapings from Tut Ankh Amun himself.

This scene at the Valley of the Kings was very bazaar.....

The shame about visiting these tombs is that no photography is allowed in there, under the presumption that it might damage the hieroglyphs, but my suspicion is it is more so they can sell you glossy brochures at ridiculously marked up prices. Once again our western sensibilities disadvantage us, as when the vendors put on the hard sell, we inevitably buckle and hand them loads of cash in order to get rid of them. The vendors are fully aware of this, and so once you are seen to cave in once, you just attract more hassle. Luckily I was exposed a bit to this in Cambodia, so I had a more steely determination than most, and moments after an American tourist paid E£50 (about £5 sterling) for a glossy brochure, I managed to haggle him down to E£20.

One thing I have not mentioned yet is something called "Baksheesh". It is a form of tipping, but on a much wider scale than in the west. For example, a chap helped me lift my luggage onto a trolley, I had to pay his a couple of Egyptian pounds for his trouble. A guard showed me something interesting on the wall in one of the temples....and I was another couple of pounds lighter in my wallet. However, this is an accepted way of life here, and a couple of pounds in Egyptian money is about 20p, so it is not a big deal, but it is the sheer frequency that adds up. Also, I always seem to have a dearth of pound notes, I am sure the Egyptian government have not printed enough, so I am stuck sometimes being unable to pay or paying 5 or 10 pounds, which is a lot!!

The Valley of the Kings visit incorporated seeing the Tombs of a couple of Ramseses (is that how you pluralise Ramses?!) which were quite interestingly decorated, but you will have to take my word for it. The Egyptians don’t miss a trick though and realise that, because of the fame surrounding the death mask, the tomb of Tut Ankh Amun will attract of lot of tourist interest, and so there is a separate charge for entering this tomb.

A rarity at The Valley of the Kings...no people in shot!

However, I was happy enough to shell out for this. It is a small tomb, but you can still see the stone sarcophagus and the wood sarcophagus that he was buried in. If the Egyptians believed he would awaken in the afterlife it does make me wonder why they locked him in a wooden coffin and then sealed him in stone one in which the lid must weigh at least 2 tonnes! At the other side of the tomb you could view the mummified remains of Tut Ankh Amun himself, which was quite special.

Tut Ankh Amun's entrance - oo-er!!

It reminds me that I need to go back to the Egyptian museum and see his death mask. I might possibly come back to the Valley of the Kings after the cruise as there are plenty more tombs to see, but we are on a punishing schedule to cram as much in as possible in a week.

After the Valley of the Kings, we “stopped off” by something called the alabaster village, which seems to be a local arrangement with the bus driver to filter tourists into the shops there. Still the demonstration on how they shape the stones was pretty good, and they were light hearted and friendly, so I was not too bothered – apart from the fact that I kept on singing “pure alabaster, genuine plaster” from the Mary Poppins tune “Portobello road”.

This sort of job can really grind you down....

We eventually moved on to the temple of Queen Hatshepsut, which is a massive temple carved out of the cliff face Petra-style! It was very impressive and pretty well preserved considering. The slight downside I was beginning to discover is that all of these locations are thronging with people, which makes it impossible to take a good photo without some numpty getting into the shot! Here I met an “unofficial” official, who put his hat on me and took my photo (more baksheesh....)

Hatshepsut's temple was pretty impressive, will be interesting to compare to Petra

Me looking like a daft Egypt....no laughing, i had to pay baksheesh for this!!

The penultimate visit of the day was to the Valley of the Queens, to see Queen Nefertiti’s (affectionately called Titty to the locals.) tomb, and also some other one, whose name I forget. By this point in the proceedings, the whole day had caught up with me, and the intense heat was making my eyes stream unheeded and were stinging to the point where I could hardly focus the camera. I hope I have not got sun burn of the eyeballs, as that is the one place I did not plaster with sun cream!

The Valley of the Queens - trust me! Every hole is a tomb

The final visit was to the Colossi of Memnon. I am not sure what I was expecting here, but I think it was something much bigger than what I saw. I know they say that size does not matter, but when it comes to stone statues, it really does! I suppose I had romantic images of something similar to the Colossus of Rhodes so, all in all, this was a trifle disappointing. Maybe they should be renamed to the Moderately-sized-stone-figures-of-Memnon. At least i was not the only one, it seemed the guide was not too impressed with these either, as after a couple of minutes he was ushering us back into the coach to head back to the boat. I for one was not sad to go.

The Minutia of Memnon....I was disappointed

As soon as I got back to the boat, I locked myself in my room and went to sleep (well earned), finally I feel that I can relax and start enjoying my time here. Also, i have finally got some pictures (to be added, as the internet connection is interminably slow!) which are more interesting that the departure lounges of Heathrow and Cairo airports!!

Egyptian Nights II

I finally managed to get on board a plane and get to Cairo, but this left things incredibly tight for catching my connecting flight. The flight itself was uneventful - I did not get a window seat, which was a shame, especially as the smug looking woman next to me insisted on keeping the shutter down as we approached Cairo. Still, in a classic case of karma, she was placed in front of some annoying Welsh brat, who inevitably seemed to kick her chair every two minutes for the entire flight.

She was very British about it, and kept looking back at the mother and scowling, but never actually said anything to him apart from a "tut" under her breath a few times. I secretly enjoyed this little game, and wondered how long she would take before snapping and saying something. Surprisingly she lasted the whole flight - now that is what i call the Dunkirk spirit!

Upon landing you are assaulted by all manner of tour reps trying to find their clients. Having missed the flight yesterday, my rep was not there, and so i had to wing it alone. Immigration is a thing in itself. The moment a large party of Western tourists land, all of the visa issuing places in the terminal seemed to shut up shop and count an unecessary amount of money for very little purpose (they could have done this during a quiet time, not the busiest time of the night) . That is, until you realise that this is just a scam they have going with some of their friends in the airport, who take tourists money to go and sort out the visa for them.

Us poor Westerners do not stand a chance here as, there we were all queuing orderly, waiting for our turn, while the streetwise natives just pushed in and shouted. He who shouts loudest is heard and dealt with. This is not just in the airport, but almost everywhere i have seen (so far) it is an expected form of social un-etiquette. There is not enough time for manners here, i suppose this is because it is so hot that people just want to get things done and bugger off out of the heat!

So, immigration held me up a bit and then i had the joy of collecting my luggage. Don't worry i thought, my bags been specially tagged at Heathrow so they will come out first. With true Egyptian inefficiency though, these tags were either ignored, or misinterpreted to think they neded to come out last, because i kid you not, my case was the second to last to appear out of that baggage hatch. I am sure they arrived on camel back!

All this meant that by the time i got to the place where my connecting flight should have been, i discovered i missed it. This is actually a real pisser, as i when i went to Egyptian Airlines ticket desk to book another one, i discovered that they are all booked out for tomorrow (or today) and so i am not going to be on the first night of the cruise.

My only option was to buy a standby ticket and hope that someone doesnt show up. That meant i had to be up at 3:30am so i could get to the airport for the first flight, leaving at 5am. That came and went and it was fully booked. So was the 5:15 flight, and the 6:15 one, and also the 6:45 flight. I thought i stood a chance with the 7am flight, as there are 4 planes that take off at that time, but no, all of those were packed too!

So i had to face the dilemma that i might not be able to make my cruise. Before i did this though i went back to Egyptian Airlines and enquired whether there was any seats on the early flight tomorrow. My luck was in, there was! So i have transferred my "maybe" ticket for a "will be" one and i fly out to Luxor at 5am, and i believe that the first day's sightseeing begins at 7am - things are extremely tight now, it is really squeaky bum time.

What it does mean is that i miss the first night of the cruise. This is not as bad as it sounds, because the first day the ship does not go anywhere anyway, it is just a "meet and greet" and get used to the boat.

My opinions so far are Egypt is not the place to come to if you want a stress free holiday! Still, on a positive note, it has given me sometihng to write about :D

Egyptian Nights I

The weather in Cairo is hot, hot, hot - 32 degrees at least. I know this because i have just logged on to the BBC website while sitting in the Sheraton hotel at the end of the runway at Heathrow. Why then, do you ask, am I stuck in the Sheraton Hotel outside Heathrow airport for the night?! The story is a long and arduous one, involving an inordinate amount of traffic on the streets of London today. Almost every turn and detour we took seemed to be crammed full of traffic.

This was obviously not helped by the fact that today was a scorcher for the UK so all those cockney gits decided to get into their XR3is and block my path to the land of the pharaohs! I know Sam is feeling pretty guilty about it, but she really needn't, as it was hardly her fault - we left in plenty of time, but still did not make it (we were crawling through London streets for almost 3 hours).

I arrived at the airport to be informed my plane was taxi-ing on the runway as i spoke. How inconsiderate, i bet the Queen never has to suffer this indignity. In the words of HM, "we were not amused".

Speaking to the holiday rep who arranged my trip, they seemed to suggest that i would be classed as a "no show" and would have to pay another £475 for a new ticket, but after a quick chat to the Reservations desk for EgyptAir, they said that they would transfer my ticket from today to tomorrow, with maybe only a cancellation charge of about £30 - which is obviously much nicer.

So i am shacked up in the Shertaon as i didn't fancy running the gauntlet of trying to get here again from St Neots. This is a slight hiccup in the plan, but it still does not bugger up my itinerary, as i will arrive in Cairo tomorrow at 8:45pm, and then instead of spending a day in the city, i will just hop straight on to another plane and pootle down to Luxor and spend the night there before getting on my cruise.

Of course this means the timescales are tighter, and i really cant afford to miss this flight, or the cruise will leave without me!! That is all for now folks, i think i am going to head down to the bar for a stiff drink (obviously not too many, otherwise i might miss tomorrows flight too!).

Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting instalment of Mouseburger's travel-by-the-seat-of-your-pants tour of North Africa.

24 Hours from Cairo

OK, this time tomorrow i should be landing in Cairo - I have done all my packing, but i have just realised a small snag.....i can't find my passport!! - i am suspecting this might be a bit of a problem come check in time tomorrow.....:S

That aside, i am pretty much sorted: i have my re-hydration tablets for the inevitable bout of "Nile Belly" i will receive (don't worry, i promise my blog will not be a daily update of my bowel movements, unless you ask!), i have sun cream factor 8 billion, so no pesky UV rays are touching my delicate skin - although it does defeat the object of going to a sunny country only to plaster yourself head-to-toe in cottage cheese :-S . Still, i will fit right in in the mummy section of the Cairo museum.

I admit i am not looking forward to the flight again, but i can console myself with the fact that it is only a third of the time it took to get to Malaysia.

Ok, i need to get looking for this passport, otherwise this blog will be shorter than Warwick Davis. Next time i post i will be in Egypt (i hope)

The 2008 tour...taking shape

After ages pontificating and generally pissing around, i have finally managed to pull my finger out and sort out my latest worldwide adventure.

For the last tour, i decided to tour a bit of South-East Asia, which co-incided with my friend's wedding in Langkawi.

This tour is less defined, it is a tour of ancient civilisations (loosely described) incorporating a nice leisurely 7 night cruise along the Nile to take in the Egyptian temples around Luxor (Valley of the Kings and Valley of the Queens), Karnak, Aswan Dam, Kitchener Island et al. Then i fly up to Cairo for a couple of day and visit the Pyramids (i suppose you really have to do this while in Cairo) the famous bazaars, and the Cairo Museum to see Tutankhamen's death mask (plus some other selected rocks which were not deemed worthy enough for the English to plunder and stick in the British museum (OK, this is a bit facetious, as apparently the Cairo museum is mightily impressive with Egyptian exhibits).

After that it all becomes a bit sketchy - i have a sort of idea that i should cross into Jordan and see Petra, plus the Wadi Rum. Not sure how easy this is to do. Then there is an idea to pop into Crete and see the Minoan remains in Knossos before hopping on a boat and getting into Greece to see the Acropolis and argue with the locals that the Elgin marbles really are better placed in the British museum :D

None of this is defined though, and i wonder how difficult it will be to do.

Alternatively, there is another plan to venture deeper into Africa and catch a safari in Botswana/Tanzania (i need to dust down my safari suit once more). If i did this i would also like to see the Victoria falls, and potentially go on a gorilla trek. However, these options are looking less likely, as arranging things on the hoof, which was easy to do in Asia, appears to be much, much harder in Africa.

Still, i am looking to head out around the 20th of September, with an aim of returning to this Sceptred Isle around the 11th of October. Just need to have the flights confirmed with the travel agent (am waiting for them to phone back as i write this).